I’m Hard-Wired to Self-Sabotage Myself

It’s true – I struggle with just enjoying the present moment.  At present I’m feeling strong, healthy, successful, and proud of myself and the lifestyle improvements I’ve made in the last couple of weeks.  But that same “self’” constantly has to be reminded to NOT MEASURE my success, because when I start measuring… I start setting the bar so high that I can’t touch it, let alone jump over it!  I’m mean to myself like that.  But these pesky self-sabotage inclinations of mine are devious… They know I’m strong enough, smart enough, aware enough to not compare myself with other people and their successes – so these inclinations are trying to get me to compare myself to myself! 

So I’m trying hard to remember:  Don’t Let Comparison Steal My Joy… Don’t Let Comparison Steal My Joy… Don’t Let Comparison Steal My Joy…. Don’t Let Comparison Steal My Joy… Don’t Let Comparison Steal My Joy… Even Self-Comparisons!!

Apparently it’s not enough tha I actively strive to “Eat Better.  Move More.” My inner self keeps trying to compare yesterday’s Better and More with today’s Better and More.  That’s not what I’m aiming for, though, because eventually I’ll run into the wall of not being able to improve anymore or especially everyday and – BOOM!  I start feeling like a failure… The simplicity of my goals are designed to never let me fail (how great is that?!). Eat Better – simply means look at what I’m about to eat and make a better choice.  Better can be anything from a smaller portion, increasing the veggies, leaving the condiments off, only eating half a bun, drinking water with my meal instead of diet pop, choosing a healthier option, eating  mindfully, eating slowly and really tasting/enjoying it, etc…  Eat Better does NOT mean Eat Better than yesterday.  Move More – simply means move more than I have to or want to at any given moment.  More can be anything from going one more block when I’m walking, parking further away from the store, getting the mail or garbage cans before the kids do, and sometimes it’s as silly as taking an extra trip up and down the stairs for no other reason than to Move More.  Move More does NOT mean Move More than yesterday.

Sometimes I have to “trick” myself into making it impossible to compare yesterday’s choices with today’s choices.  I don’t check the time before I head out on a walk, I can’t walk the same path everyday, listen to the same playlist on consecutive days, or even listen to playlist songs in the same order each time I listen to that particular playlist (lest I compare how long I’ve walked by song order!).  I have to really try to make my Move Mores something that I can’t compare to previous Move Mores!  Silly, huh?

I’m also not weighing myself right now, not taking before and after pictures, not talking to friends and family about the improvements I’m making (other than my little ‘ole blog that no one reads!!), and not counting how many days I’ve been on track or days I’ve walked.  There are so many theories out there about whether those types of measuring techniques are helpful or hurtful.  I think that totally depends on the person and FOR ME… measuring can only bring me down (right now anyway).  I’m currently wearing a shirt that was a tad too uncomfortable to wear 2 weeks ago (just a tad, mind you)… that’s as close as I’m going to get to measuring anytime soon!

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Eat Better.  Move More. ~ The End.

~ Angie ~