Isla de Angela ~ gaining inner peace, losing extra weight

The Good, Bad, and the UGLY

Posted on: January 29, 2010

The Good:

Thursday night I did ALL 26 poses, all 2 times, during yoga for the very first time!!!  Granted, they weren’t all that pretty but as the instructor says, “It’s not about the poses, it’s about the process”.  I’m processing my ass off!!

Tonight will be the 5th day in a row that I’ve gone to yoga class, also.  It’s the hardest exercise I’ve ever done but it’s also the most rewarding.  I hate exercise, just like the rest of you do, but this Bikram Yoga (which I’m totally new to – I’ve NEVER even tried regular yoga before this month) makes me feel like I can do anything!  It’s making me stronger in my fight to eat right, it’s helping me be more disciplined in my workout schedule, it’s making my body lean and strong, it’s teaching me to be more relaxed and calm throughout my entire day, and it’s  filling me with a pride that I’ve never felt before.  A few thoughts on why this exercise class is working for me when so many others haven’t:

  • The women there have all had a first class, a first week of classes, and know how hard it is.  They are so supportive – and so non-judgemental.  Most of them are skinny and very fit women but they’ve never made me, and my plump figure, feel like an “invisible” outsider, unworthy of talking to or taking my weight loss attempt seriously.
  • I’m not self-conscience during this class.  At a regular gym I’ve always felt like people were looking at me and judging me.  During yoga everyone is focused on themselves – literally watching their own eyes in the mirror – as they focus on doing each pose to the best of their ability.  There is little to no looking around and NO TALKING or laughing.  Everyone is in their own world.
  • This class is a 90 minute session where I am focused on me – JUST ME.  My mind is so occupied on listening to directions and giving each pose my all, while trying to breathe properly, that I’m not thinking of my kids, what I have to do when I get home, whether my husband is home from work – blah, blah, blah.  I don’t think I’ve ever been that focused on myself for 90 minutes at a time.  It’s glorious!  It’s helping me to focus better all day long, too.
  • Lastly, I like to go to the 4:30 or 5:00 pm class which means I’m away from home for a full 2 hours and 15 minutes.  That’s too long for my kids to wait for dinner so I HAVE to prepare them dinner before I leave.  Since MY foods are 90% prepared ahead – I’m still only making one dinner (for them) each night.  We’ve also only eaten out TWICE since I started in Jan. 5th.  We ate out at least 4x’s a week before.  After 3 and a half weeks – they’ve finally stopped asking to go out, too!  We’re all eating healthier.

Okay, I’ll get off my yoga soap box!  My real point is I’ve found a class that motivates me.  I found a class where I feel a sense of camaraderie.  I’m NOT walking on a treadmill alone, watching the clock and hating every second of it, with my mind thinking of everything but me, myself, and I.  It didn’t happen immediately, either, I had to go back a few times – to give it a true try and to not make a quick judgement.


The Bad:

I’ve been trolling the internet searching for blogs of other women aiming to lose about 100 pounds this year.  I just wanted to encourage and be encouraged with people who had relatively the same goal as mine. I’ve found some BUT it seems that most of them aren’t doing very well on their journeys!!!

C’mon, Ladies!  Buck up!  Stop waiting for “FEEL LIKE” exercising or eating healthy.  If it was about “FEELING” we’d all be skinny, fit, and happy in our bodies.  Make a commitment to do it.  Everyday is a new chance to succeed.  “They” say it takes 21 days to form a new habit – start today.  21 days.  Commit, COMMIT, C*O*M*M*I*T!



Just a quick “funny” compliments of my sweet baby girl, A(age 10)…

After yoga I’m incredibly hot and sweaty (my clothes are as wet as if they’d just come out of the washing machine).  I take a quick shower in the locker room but am still very over-heated and too hot and sweaty to put a bra and underwear on.  So I just pull on a t-shirt and loose-fitting, light-weight pants.

I came home last night and (A10) looks at me, with my DD’s (which have nursed three children) hanging WAAAAYYYY down, pointing WAAAAYYY south… 

A (10) says, “You don’t look like THAT during your class, do you?  No one wants to see THAT!” 

I indignantly respond, “Ugh. Thanks, A!”. 

Realizing what she said she tries to make it better by saying, “I didn’t mean it like that.  I just mean – No one wants to SEE that.”

~  Sigh.  Well, it looks better now than it did 3 weeks ago!  *big smile* – Angie




2 Responses to "The Good, Bad, and the UGLY"

I’m glad to see you enjoying the yoga classes. The strength of the mind and your convinction is a powerful asset. I have no doubt you’ll be successful and I’ll try to offer positive reinforcement where I can. Now that I’m over the half-way hump, I’m hoping the second 50 pounds will come off as relatively easy as the first 50. Good luck!

I discovered yoga too recently, after trying it a handful of times over the years and hating it! Something clicked. It is hard! But mine sounds easier than yours! I blogged about it too:)


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________* * ANGIE * *________

They say that muscle is heavier "by volume" than fat is, which means 5 lbs. of muscle takes up less space than 5 lbs. of fat within a body. I'm a believer. This totally explains how your clothes begin to fit better even though the numbers on the scale aren' t moving very fast.

This is GROSS. I know. But I'd rather see the fat HERE than on my body...

Each time we “resist” an urge to fall off plan or not exercise we strengthen our “resistance muscle” and each time we “give in” to temptation we strengthen our “give in muscle” making it easier to either "resist" or "give in" next time.

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