Isla de Angela ~ gaining inner peace, losing extra weight

A Boston Cream Donut Day…

Posted on: March 2, 2010


I’ve said it before, “The Boston Cream Donut is my drug of choice”.  Today is the kind of day I use to self-medicate during.  Why?  Simply because I have the beginnings of a head cold and want to feel “taken care of”, “pampered”, and “babied”.  The house is a mess, the laundry is over-flowing, groceries need to be bought,  and all I want to do is snuggle in bed with a book and not have to look at it.  Not major events in the scheme of life, but nonetheless, they are events that would normally send me to the Glorious Boston Cream Donut Pharmacy…

What to do, what to do, what to do….

I WILL NOT eat the donuts.  I WANT the donuts but KNOW I’m strong enough to resist them (today anyway).  The problem is I STILL WANT to feel “taken care of”, “pampered”, and “babied”.  My husband, although, a wonderful man, provider, father, etc… is not a nurturer in that way and, honestly, with the stress he’s under daily at work I don’t feel right in asking to be “babied”.  My life is relatively un-stressful compared to his, taking “sick days” is something I can do anytime, I have time to nap, I have time to workout, to read, to watch tv, etc…  He does not.  Why should he “baby” me?  He shouldn’t.  BUT I STILL WANT IT and today more than usual. 

What to do, what to do, what to do…

I could allow myself to have a special “healthy snack” but I really don’t want to use food to placate my emotions.  That’s a real slippery slope for me and a habit I’ve been working too hard to break to give into it today… 

What to do, what to do, what to do…

Financially, something indulgent – like a massage – isn’t practical.  I don’t think I’m up to exercising today – my head is too stuffy.  I must admit, this little pity party I’m throwing myself isn’t helping!!

What to do, what to do, what to do…

These are the real “make it or break it” moments in my weight loss struggle – the everyday moments when the down feelings of regular life sneak up.  I’ll get through it.  I’m not sure where I’m finding the strength this time (I’m just entering week 8 and have only had ONE, yes, ONE evening of cheating.  Not so much as ONE BITE of off-plan food has entered my mouth except for that ONE evening…).  I still don’t know what to fill my feelings with, though.  I’m just pushing through by will-power but know that won’t last forever and I want to know how to fill those wants/needs with something other than food

What to do, what to do, what to do…

I’m going to start by turning the tv off, putting my laptop down, and getting my butt off the couch.  Not sure what will happen next but I’ll be back later to send my day into cyber-space…

I would love your thoughts on what you feed your emotions with (other than food :)~ )!


~ Woe is me (it’s an Eeyore kind of day).  – Angie


6 Responses to "A Boston Cream Donut Day…"

I went to the movies the other day when I was beyond cranky and fed up with everything. That definitely helped! If you have the time and $7 I highly recommend it.

Funny YouTube videos help me focus my attention on things other than food! Three of my favorites:

Exercise! I never thought I would say that but there it is. BTW – I have not had one of those in years, since college midnight Dunkin Donut runs, I think.

Don’t eat it! You will be so glad you didn’t.

I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. 😦

For something “indulgent,” can you take a long bubble bath? Light some candles, grab a good book, and soak. If you have any on hand chuck some epsom salts in there and/or eucalyptus oil to help with the stuffiness.

It’s SO hard to deal with emotions when you’re used to soothing with food. Do you think free-writing everything down that’s going through your head might help?

Hope you feel better ASAP! *hugs*

I am learning to “feel” the feelings instead of stuff myself so I don’t have to deal with them. I either have to feel really sad, blog it out, talk it out with the person I’m having trouble with or whatever. It’s amazing how “numb” I was in dealing with life’s difficulties because food was soothing my soul. Feel it.

Seems to me, that when we stuff our face, instead of facing our stuff, its not really about food at all. You have identified the fact that you need attention at times, now in particular, and you say that you cant or wont ask it from your husband…and cite lots of reas….*excuses’? as to why you can’t ask him for it. Dare I suggest that no matter how busy he is being a human doing, its written in the job description for hubbies…’take care of wifey’s attention stuff’ as well as ‘bring in the food and put roof over head’ Maybe instead of trying to avoid the donuts, you should look at what you are really wanting. All the time you replace what you really want with a donut, you will keep wanting donuts because they are not salving your real need. You have a perfect right to ask even the busiest hubby for a little care and attention even if he is dog tired. Its about facing your stuff – not stuffing your face. But you knew that :).

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________* * ANGIE * *________

They say that muscle is heavier "by volume" than fat is, which means 5 lbs. of muscle takes up less space than 5 lbs. of fat within a body. I'm a believer. This totally explains how your clothes begin to fit better even though the numbers on the scale aren' t moving very fast.

This is GROSS. I know. But I'd rather see the fat HERE than on my body...

Each time we “resist” an urge to fall off plan or not exercise we strengthen our “resistance muscle” and each time we “give in” to temptation we strengthen our “give in muscle” making it easier to either "resist" or "give in" next time.

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