Isla de Angela ~ gaining inner peace, losing extra weight

Let the Dealing Begin…

Posted on: May 6, 2011

Retraining my Brain

So on my first visit to my new therapist she gave me two assignments:  Start blogging/journaling again and try to notice when I have negative thoughts and replace them with the truth.  This is the first step in retraining my brain.

Negative:  I started the day later than I thought I “should”.

Truth:  I started the day much earlier than I had been during the past year and when I realized I was being hard on myself I saw it, stopped it, and decided to take a positive action by getting in the shower because I wanted to (not because I should).

Negative:  While getting ready after my shower I didn’t feel like putting make-up on and quickly starting berating myself for not doing what a “happy, healthy mom that cares about herself” SHOULD do.

Truth:  Why did I feel I “needed” to wear makeup?  The reality is that no one else is thinking about whether or not I have make-up on and it’s better for my face/pores if I don’t.  I saw it, stopped it, and thought about what I wanted to do for ME (instead of the outside world that I always feel is judging me).  I put sunscreen on, a little concealer around my eyes and a touch of blush.  Done!

I sure do have a lot of notions about what I SHOULD be doing!  That “voice” in my head speaks with such authority and as if there is only one correct option for every decision I make…

Well, those are just 2 samples of the negative thoughts that started my day.  They continued, of course, but I didn’t let them overpower me.  After getting ready for the day I made a reasonable list of goals to-do for the day (errands, chores, etc…) and managed to do most of them plus quite a few extras which left me with a nice sense of accomplishment for the day.


Yawn, Yawn, YAAAAAAaaaaaawwnnn….

The real challenge for the day was how tired I felt by 4:00 pm!  I really wanted a nap but didn’t want to end up napping and then staying up too late to feel productive on Saturday (A has a 9:00 softball game).  I resisted but ended up just laying around watching tv (the rest of the household was busy doing their own thing).  Being tired and not allowing myself to nap made me feel…. deprived, I guess.  I felt like a little girl being punished and wanted desperately to stuff my self-pity with junk food.  I realized I wasn’t hungry and was just wanting to push the uncomfortable feelings away with comfort food.  Realizing this did not lessen the urge to stuff my face – I didn’t, though.  I’m sure I’ll feel proud in the morning but right now (10 pm), I still want the junk food (although, not as desperately!).  I’m going to wash up and call it a night.


~ Moment of J*O*Y ~

The cover on the pool collapsed over the winter and for the last 2 months we could see the green water, things blew into the pool, and the lining started to buckle.  Basically, it’s been a real eye-sore… Well, we had the lining replaced today and I’m so pleased to see how good it looks!  I was worried about whether I’d picked out the best lining for the brick around the pool but it’s perfect!  Yeah!!!!  Now if the weather would start to cooperate… we’ll be good to go!

**  Angie  **


2 Responses to "Let the Dealing Begin…"

Hi Angie!

First, I wanted to stop by and thank you for commenting on my blog! Your words were beyond wise! 🙂

Second, your blog is very inspirational! I can relate to a lot of what you have posted. The negative thoughts that cloud our mind and what we think we *should* do because society tells us that is what we should do as opposed to what we need to do. Good stuff!

I will be back!!


Oh and before I forget– your gravatar / avatar is AWESOME!! ❤

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________* * ANGIE * *________

They say that muscle is heavier "by volume" than fat is, which means 5 lbs. of muscle takes up less space than 5 lbs. of fat within a body. I'm a believer. This totally explains how your clothes begin to fit better even though the numbers on the scale aren' t moving very fast.

This is GROSS. I know. But I'd rather see the fat HERE than on my body...

Each time we “resist” an urge to fall off plan or not exercise we strengthen our “resistance muscle” and each time we “give in” to temptation we strengthen our “give in muscle” making it easier to either "resist" or "give in" next time.

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